When a friend asked me to go with her to her autistic son’s dental appointment, I knew I needed to go. I brought books with me to entertain her older son while the little boy had his teeth cleaned and checked, and brought gifts of Slinkys for both of them. When we first arrived at the dentist’s office, I pulled the Slinkys from my bag and let the autistic boy manipulate his through my hands. As I waited in the outer room, I heard his screams and I cried—for him and for the memory of when I held a crying baby during a difficult exam.

I gently told a concerned father and his distressed daughter, “The boy you hear is autistic. He doesn’t understand what is happening to him. When everything inside you is scrambled, you don’t know how to react to your world. Going to the dentist won’t be so bad for you.”

The father’s eyes lit with understanding. “I have a niece who is autistic.” Then he quietly explained to his daughter in simple language what autism is and assured her that the experience of seeing the dentist would not be as frightening for her. “That little boy is out of his comfort zone.”

After the check-up, the mom entrusted the boy to me while she took care of financial matters. I deep-massaged his cheek and temple and the fretful boy nestled against me. While Mom gave a report to Dad on her cell phone and maneuvered the van out of the parking lot, I reached my hand toward the car seat. The child put his foot in my hand and while I rubbed his arch, the high pitched whines subsided.

I am no miracle worker.

Two weeks ago, I could not have done, I would not have known to do any of this, even to know that a Slinky would be a good toy for a child with autism. If it had not been for reading Karla Akin’s book, A Pair Of Miracles, I probably would not have even agreed to go. I’m glad I went and I’m glad I read a book that empowered me to be a team member of a family with a special needs child.

A Pair of Miracles: A Story of Autism, Faith, and Determined Parenting tells the story of how Karla and Eddy raised two adopted twin boys who both had autism in addition to other issues. It’s the inspiring story of how two babies who bit, screamed, kicked, and showed no interest in toys, food, or potty training became kind-hearted, service-oriented, fully-functioning adults. It’s a toolbox full of practical helps and spiritual truths. Karla shares her journey of educating, socially acclimating, and surviving two little boys whose nervous systems were scrambled by autism. Even though it is specifically about autism, the sections about partnering with God in parenting are alone worth the read. The appendices are a wealth of resources—everything from teaching strategies to appropriate toys to a Functional Skills Checklist. Karla even tells how to determine the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.

Why read this book?

Why read this book if I am not a teacher or a parent of a child with autism? If the church community wants to minister to families with special needs children, we need to be informed, intentional, and equipped. We need to enter their lives and realize what they face on a daily basis. So few people understand the autism spectrum. Both Karla and my friend have been told they just need to try harder or they need to spend more time with their kids. No. Autism doesn’t work that way. Autism changes all the rules. We can’t effectively help any special needs child until we understand what they face.

I know for myself, I didn’t know how to help. I was afraid of doing something wrong. I knew enough to be afraid—afraid of upsetting the child if I tried to touch him, anxious about how to communicate to a non-verbal child who also had hearing issues. I get that from other people when they finally talk to me about my vision problem. It isn’t that people don’t want to help the handicapped person; it’s more that they don’t know how and they don’t want to do it wrong.

A Pair Of Miracles will give you the tools on how to be an effective helper that connects with the autistic child and his family. Believe me, any little effort on your part is greatly appreciated.

Karla targets mostly parents of autistic children. However, a chapter near the end tells how to integrate the family of an autistic child into the church community. She is the first person I’ve heard talk about an organized buddy system (PALS) for a special needs child in a church education program. It’s a brilliant plan. If you have a family with a special needs child coming to your church, you need to read this chapter.

I’m convinced that God brought this book and this family into my life at the same time. I am deeply moved that I was able to be a part of their morning. It gave me an inside look at what this courageous family faces every day. And I’m convinced that, by the grace of God, they’re going to make it. They’re going to overcome. God will bless their lives richly through one very sweet little boy who challenges the rest of us to look at life from a different perspective.

If you know a family with an autistic child, I encourage you to pray for them. Offer to go with them to a restaurant or doctor’s appointment. Finally, read A Pair Of Miracles. It will give you hope. It will empower you to empower them.

You can order a copy of A Pair of Miracles here.

For more on Karla’s ministry and updates about her two boys, Isaac and Isaiah, check out her blog here.

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever faced disappointment?

You’ve worked hard for something, yet in one moment, it shriveled and fizzled into nothing. You feel faded and jaded, unable, unworthy, and unwilling to lift your head and show your brilliance. What brilliance? You feel like the whole world is staring at you, leering the unspoken words with their eyes, “What good are ya?”

• Three surgeries later, the doctor tells you nothing can be done for your chronic pain.
• In spite of signs of growth and success, you get fired from a job.
• A promotion you’ve worked for gets handed to a less qualified person.
• Your child turned their back on all your teaching and entered an ungodly lifestyle.
• One major illness wipes out your savings for retirement.

Disappointment. It hurts. You find yourself asking.

• Why?
• What did I do wrong?
• What could I have done better?
• Why does life have to be so hard?
• What was I thinking? Was I too big for my breeches in wanting to reach so high? Maybe I should be content with less. The higher you reach, the harder you fall, right?

I’ve faced disappointment.

In fact, disappointment handed me the pink slip just this past month. I’d worked hard. I was open to learning and growing in the project I pursued. I thought this time it would be within my reach. But wiith one word, my hopes were dashed. NO!

I wish I could say that I got right up, dusted myself off and got back up on that horse. The truth is, for several weeks, I twiddled with the reigns, adjusted the stirrups, and buried my head, weeping a few extra tears. Disappointment hurts.

Lest you frown on my display of emotion, I’m in good company. I always thought Moses’ successor, Joshua, had a blameless character, but I think I found his Achilles heel. He tore his clothes and fell face down in the dirt. At least my clothing is still intact.

Here’s Joshua’s story.

After the Israelites destroyed Jericho, they were pumped. God had brought a great victory. They were ready to claim this Promised Land. Next on the hit list was the small town of Ai. Easy-peasy. We can do this thing. We don’t even need to send the entire army.

But the smaller brigade tucked tail with the men of Ai in hot pursuit. It was a devastating defeat. Joshua cried out to the Lord.

“Alas, Sovereign Lord, why did you ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us? If only we had been content to stay on the other side of the Jordan! Pardon your servant, Lord. What can I say, now that Israel has been routed by its enemies? The Canaanites and the other people of the country will hear about this and they will surround us and wipe out our name from the earth. What then will you do for your own great name?” – Joshua 7:7-9

Yes, I can relate. What’s wrong with me? Maybe I should not have reached so high. What glory will God get when I waste my time with things that don’t work out? All those people that have prayed for my success—what will this do to their faith?

God gave Joshua four steps to move past his disappointment.

1. Get Up: “What are you doing down on your face, Joshua?” God asked. Because Joshua would rather not make eye contact with anyone? He felt ashamed, that’s why. A failure with a capitol F.

Joshua forgot one important fact. Crossing the Jordan River was God’s idea, not his.

Developing my gifts into a ministry was God’s idea, not mine.

Look at your disappointment. What has God called you to do? Did you do it? As I heard Don Piper say at the Speak Up Conference I recently attended, “God cares about our obedience, not the outcome.”

2. Grasp The Truth” “Israel has sinned,” God told Joshua. Then God sent Joshua on a truth quest, unearthing the fact that a man named Achan had disobeyed the Lord’s command to destroy everything.

Sometimes we cause our own disappointment. But sometimes we don’t. Sometimes, we are the innocent bystanders, the recipients of unintended consequences. God’s message to Joshua was straight-forward: this isn’t about you. Other stuff is going on that’s far bigger than you, Joshua, and I’m on it.

Much happens behind the scenes that we simply don’t know about. When we face disappointment, we need to stop the naval gazing and blame game; there are forces at work that are out of our control, God is dealing with it, and like He told Job at one point, as God, He doesn’t need to tell us what He is doing to solve the issue.

Our job is to stay faithful and not let the disappointment tarnish our trust.

3. Go on to the next thing. I find the final section of the story so beautiful:

Then the Lord said to Joshua, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Take the whole army with you, and go up and attack Ai. For I have delivered into your hands the king of Ai, his people, his city and his land. You shall do to Ai and its king as you did to Jericho and its king, except that you may carry off their plunder and livestock for yourselves. Set an ambush behind the city.” – Joshua 8:1,2

Did you catch God’s directions? Unlike His commands for the destruction of Jericho and Ai, this time God told Joshua that the Israelites could carry off the plunder and livestock, and keep it for themselves. Joshua! Now that you’ve learned obedience and trust, I’m going to bless you. Not only will I give you victory; I’m giving you a bonus check.

I see another difference. This time, God told Joshua to involve the entire army. Together, the Israelites conquered Ai. Like Joshua, I can’t do what the Lord calls me to do with only part of my resources. I need to give it my all. I also need to involve other people. Three times at my writer’s conference, I had people tell me to gather a prayer team around me for my next step. From reading the account of Ai, I see the wisdom of Joshua’s choices. God’s work is best accomplished when God’s people work together and support each other. As someone else said, we’re a team, a family, not competitors.

4. Give God the glory and renew your commitment to Him. Read for yourself Joshua 8:30-35. Instead of whooping and hollering about his success, Joshua used the victory as a chance to immerse himself and his people in the law of God and to recommit themselves as a people of God. What a powerful moment that must have been.

Take an honest look at your disappointment. Stop wallowing in self-doubt and show your face. Ask God to help you discern between your emotions and the facts. Gather a support team. And when you do experience that sweet success, set aside time to immerse yourself in the word of God, praising Him for what He has accomplished, and committing yourself to God’s next project.

I’m moving on. Will you join me?

Germany was not the first place I thought of as a mission field.

Directing a library wasn’t on my top ten list of what missionaries do either. That was my reaction when some friends told us about their dreams for the next phase of their family life. Yet, in the past six years, Teri and Larry Lewis became part of the Open Door Libraries ministry in Berlin, Germany that is bringing God-shaped results.

Teri and Larry direct Connections, a library stocked with Christian literature in the heart of Berlin, Germany. Through a simple library, they are discipling the nations.

Connections is not just a Christian resource library. It serves as a coffee bar, a community center that connects Christians with other Christians, and a safe place for people who are seeking God. On any given day, you might find art exhibits, English classes, or a birthday party in full swing. Several church groups use the facilities. Often, people come in to use the free bathroom (anywhere else in Berlin costs to use a public restroom), and stay to talk. For a while, a ministry to refugees used library space as their headquarters. Often, workers from other ministries will stop by to use the Lewises as a listening ear. Some of Teri’s best connections have come when she’s held out a cookie-filled hand to a fearful or curious child.

Their clientele aren’t necessarily German.

In fact, in the six years the Lewises have directed Connections, they’ve had 120 different nationalities walk through their open door.

Their connection with Connections began when their daughter took a pledge at a Christ In Youth rally to serve on a short-term mission trip to Germany. Three adults and four teens spent eleven days on a trip that would change their family direction forever. While in Berlin, they began discussions with the board of directors who offered them the position of directors. One year later, Teri, Larry, and their two daughters, Ericah and Micah, moved to Berlin, Germany.

It was not an easy move. No one in the family spoke German. They had to leave aging parents and a family dog too old to travel. Teri had been in a wheelchair not six weeks before the actual move after foot surgery. One daughter had a particularly difficult time acclimating to the change and had to spend several weeks living with another family so she could start school on time.

So, why Germany?

Why would a middle age couple with two teenage daughters feel compelled to start a ministry in the homeland of Martin Luther, one of the greatest Christian reformers of all time?

Much has happened in the 500 years since Luther declared his break from the Catholic Church. According to Teri, the two World Wars of the 20th century crippled spirituality in Germany, a country known as the hub of Europe. Moreover, Germany has seen a tremendous influx of immigrants who are merely passing through. “We plant seeds,” Teri explained. “If we can reach people for the Lord here, they will take the message with them.”

“Everyone needs Jesus,” Larry adds. “Whether you are third-world or first-world.” The couple have found that Germans are a loyal people. Once they buy into an idea, they are whole-hearted in their commitment. If you win a German to the Lord, they will show you true Christianity.

Any day is a busy day at Connections.

There’s no predicting who will walk through that open door next. It might be a child looking for a cookie and a snap English lesson. Or a young woman longing to escape the clutches of prostitution. Once an octogenarian stopped by because he had lost his way to his own home. Hanne, an older lady facing surgery, asked for prayer. Sadly, they never saw Hanne again so Teri and Larry have no idea how she fared through the surgery. People, seeking God or resistant to the Spirit’s pull, start conversations about God and then come back for more. The connections become like family. One Muslim man started studying Christianity with Larry and last May, he and eight of his friends were baptized into Christ. Omar calls Teri and Larry his American parents.

Through the difficulties and victories, Teri and Larry have seen the grace of God in action. In their six year tenure, they’ve both experienced life threatening health issues, both have lost their mothers, and both daughters have married. In moments of discouragement, God has sent someone to the library to encourage them or a previous contact has called to wish them Merry Christmas and share about their spiritual progress. When the Lewises, had to return to the states for an extended furlough surrounding the death of Teri’s mother and the two weddings, they received a significant gift to cover their expenses.

I get excited every time I read Teri’s daily reports about who shows up at the Connections library.

How thrilling –and how scary—to never know who might open the door next. No wonder Teri says that the biggest prayer need is for wisdom. “Pray that what we say will make an impact.” They also ask that we pray that God prepare the hearts of the people they encounter. I would ask you to pray that God safeguard their health, their families in the States, and their finances. This couple is doing good work, work that will in due season, bring a harvest.

The ministry of the Berlin Connections Library is a good reminder to me that there are lots of ways to connect with people who are searching for Jesus. Any one ministry can act as a springboard for lots of things to happen. God can take one small conversation where you plant of seed of hope to produce transformational change in the life of a particular person. Connections also reminds me to keep the door of my life open so others feel welcome to enter my space and share life with me, giving me a chance to share Jesus with them.

Connections is under the auspices of the Open Door Libraries Ministry who operates libraries in Europe and the Middle East. If you would like to donate to this fruitful ministry, go to the Open Door Libraries website.

Who might next come through your open door? How will you reflect God’s grace to them?

 

 

 

Ah, the joys of not being able to drive!

As my vision has improved, I’ve had friends say, “You’ll get to drive in no time.” I’m sorry to burst your bubble but as much of a change as I have experienced, my vision won’t improve that much. It has a long way to go before I can see a stop sign from several car lengths away. I’m okay with that; for the most part, I’m very content in my non-driver status.

Am I crazy? Driving a car is an inalienable right akin to life, liberty, and the pursuit of the American dream. Car ownership is a major life convenience bordering on necessity. Car keys represent power, control, and independence. Talk to any older person forced to give up their driver’s license or that sixteen year old ready to wrap their grimy mitts around that gear shift. Oh wait, do cars come equipped with gear shifts? Did I mention I’ve never driven before?

As a quiet bystander to the stories about driving escapades, I can tell you, there are days I’m glad I don’t drive.

Consider this:

I have never

• Lost my car keys.
• Locked myself out of my car before an important job interview.
• Backed into a utility pole.
• Failed the driver’s test.
• Needed to change a flat tire.
• Driven the wrong way on a one way street.
• Got stuck in a pit of mud on a back woods road (but my #1 sweetie has!).
• Had to worry whether Geico is 15% less than my current auto insurance or consider the option of no-fault insurance. After all, a car collision is never my fault unless I distract the driver.

  

Best of all,

I’ve never been tempted to talk a police officer out of a traffic ticket. Wait a minute. That sounds like fun!

Am I making light of the situation? Perhaps. I do have my down days where I wish I could drive. It would be nice not to have to depend on other people for the simplest of tasks like going to the grocery store for some bananas or slipping up to Dairy Queen for a secret root beer float. Some days, I have an overwhelming urge to escape my ordinary life and, like James T. Kirk from Star Trek, “see what’s out there.”

In those moments, I remind myself of this:

Not owning a car or a driver’s license can have its benefits.

Time-saver. My personal poll on Facebook revealed the number of hours people spend driving. It varied tremendously based on their season of life and where they lived, but I quickly got the idea. I have the gift of an extra four to twenty hours a week where I’m not wasting time behind a wheel. My literary agent thinks I’m such a hard worker; the truth is, I’ve got the time to write, knit, AND plays games on my tablet because I stay at home.

Money saver. My husband should be ecstatic. I save him more than 15% on overall car expenses. We own only one car and I’m not taking all those trips to the grocery store ten miles away. When we go to town, we combine errands and make each trip count. When he frets over the cost of my airline ticket to visit family in Arizona, I remind him that I’ve saved three times the cost of the airline ticket in one year because he’s the only driver in the family.

My adult daughter who works as a University instructor and who hasn’t driven until recently, was content with her modest salary. “It’s plenty,” she said. “Why would anyone want more than this?”

“You don’t make car payments or pay for car insurance,” I told her.

Slower pace: How do I manage? I walk. Walking is a good thing. Aside from the cardio-vascular workout, walking to the store makes me slow down and enjoy the sights: the birds flitting from tree to tree, the flowers on porches, and the clouds morphing into new shapes. When you drive, you go too fast to catch the details.

Companionship: “You’re so lucky,” an aunt told me. “You have all these fascinating stories of people you’ve been with because you have to ask others for rides. Me? I just get in my car and go. By myself.” She’s right. I always have to be with someone else in a car. I get a ring side seat on the stories in their lives.

It works the other way. I have a sentence from Carol Kent’s book, “Becoming a Woman of Influence” on my white board that reminds me of the importance of discipling along life’s way. It says, “Make every contact count.” Just think of all my extra connections with people because I have to ask for rides. And the driver is a captive audience!

Compassion and Inspiration: I understand the frustration of the elderly about relinquishing those car keys. I’ve had many talks with older people who seem relieved that SOMEONE understands. I’m able to share with them how to adapt and that surrendering that license is not the beginning of the end.

Dependence on God: Necessity is the mother of dependence on God. From the age of sixteen, transportation issues threw me at the feet of Jesus and I found Him faithful. I’ve learned to pray that God provide a way for me to get where I need to go. Once I wanted to go to a writer’s conference 300 miles away. I got there and back—four drivers and one Greyhound bus later. Every transfer was a step of faith and a proof that if God calls you, He will resource you.

What keeps you from doing all that you want to do?

Look at the benefits and the hidden blessings. Maybe you aren’t missing out on so much after all. Sometimes the having brings more grief than the wanting.

Relinquish your need to God. Give Him room to work. Ask Him to show you the benefits of not having what you want and how He has filled in the cracks of your need.

He might surprise you at the wisdom of His alternate plan. He’s very creative. He’ll provide for you in a way that will make you and those watching you shake your heads and say, “Only God!”