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January 13, 2021 by Karen Wingate 1 Comment

Words Words Words: How to Win with Your Word Choices

words words words words words words words words

We’ve heard a lot of words in the last few weeks. Lots and lots. Words during presidential campaigns and debates. Words after the election. News media outlets have used words to describe and discredit political platforms. One hundred different uses of words to describe the benefits and evils of mask wearing. Words have flowed in the form of opinions, informed or otherwise, on social media. Talk about the vaccine, violence. Lots of opinion, truth, hearsay, and reactions to all of the above.

I’m weary of words. Are you?

The Gift of Words

I’m so grateful God has called me to be a word juggler. I love to craft words into thoughts and ideas in ways that influence and encourage other people. “A picture is worth a thousand words,”  says a well known saying, and frankly, I’ll go for the thousand words any time. But as I play with words, forming and reforming them into anything from practical how-to’s to lyrical, whimsical bits of prose, I’m profoundly aware of their power. Power to do great good, to bring healing, and to give reassurance and encouragement. They can inspire, challenge, and motivate others to do great things and live great lives.

I’m also aware that I can use that power so very badly. I can invoke great harm through this gift I’ve been given.

That becomes all too apparent during a marital spat. I’ve often quipped that a couple made up of a preacher and a writer can be a lethal combination. My husband, a.k.a. Preacher Creature, argues in three-point outlines and my storytelling prowess is sanded to a razor-thin edge when I want to recount tales of the past. I can so magnificently craft comebacks to cause hurt, shame, or false guilt.

I’ve also said that a pastor’s wife has tremendous power to make or break her husband’s ministry – just in her use of words. We can give false impressions, infuse with lingering doubt, or put in a pinprick of negativity, all the while saying with a straight face that we’ve spoken truth and “I’m just concerned” or “Something to pray about.”

Words are sneaky.

Words can be full of quadruple meaning that can slither and slide into what we want them to say or what we want to change them to say. The better, more gifted you are with words, the more adept you can become at word damage.

Words can mean different things to different people. I can innocently use a word to mean one thing, but someone could come along and interpret what I said in a totally different way. This becomes a serious issue if I say what I say, knowing that it could be interpreted a certain way, do it anyway, and then say, “But I didn’t mean that.” It’s equally dangerous if I blurt out words without stopping to think about how they sound to my hearer or if I suspect there might be a problem and I say them anyway with an “Oh well, it’s their problem” attitude. That’s downright poor judgement on my part.

With a gift comes responsibility.

Organizing and choosing what I say responsibly means I will:

  • Speak truth with no twist
  • Avoid ulterior motives
  • Refuse to use words that maliciously manipulate the hearer
  • Consider the person who is hearing my words – how will they interpret what I say? (If you aren’t singing out of the same dictionary, your conversation will be as dissonant as a 1970’s synthesizer.)

The Bible has good advice about the words we use:

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the Church.”

Ephesians 4:15

“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.”

Psalm 34:13

“A person finds joy in giving an apt reply and how good is a timely word.” (Proverbs 15:23)

Proverbs 15:23

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” (Proverbs 12:25)

Proverbs 12:25

“A man who lacks judgement derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.”

Proverbs 11:12

How can you use words for good?

God created language, and words, like much of God’s creation, can be used for good or for evil intent. While many people want to throw out things that God has created when they see them used for evil, I haven’t seen anyone refusing to speak yet! But perhaps we do need to be more intentional and committed to the use of words for good rather than evil, the way God intended.

I think this political season has taught all of us the destructive potential of our speech. We’re tired of the hurtful, hateful, emotion-driven, accusing, and downright deceptive ways word abusers have attempted to influence our point of view.

We’ve learned, sadly, that we cannot trust everything people of influence say – whether it’s a news media source, a politician, or even our next-door neighbor or church acquaintance. And we’ve had to learn the hard way how to respond in a Christlike manner to inflammatory words that emotionally spill out from people who are under an extra load of stress—just like we are.

How do you stop the drivel?

Let’s recommit, you and I, to using the gift of words as God as intended.

  • Use words to build up, not tear down.
  • Manage words to express respect, honor, and kindness.
  • Bite back the accusations, recriminations, manipulative sentences, and repeated gossip.
  • Commit to not sharing information until you’ve had a chance to check sources
  • Have the humility to respond with, “There is much I don’t know so maybe it’s best that I don’t voice my opinion.”
  • Speak truth in a straight line instead of twisted, multi-layered levels, taking into consideration what would be in the best interest of the person who hears your words.

The apostle Paul said it more succinctly than I could:

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:6)

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Colossians 4:6

Here’s praying that you and I will both grow in speaking words laced with God’s grace.

Read more about our use of words in my blog post, Keeping Quiet: 6 Strategies to Control What You Say.

Filed Under: Grace on Parade

December 20, 2020 by Karen Wingate 3 Comments

Celebrating Christmas: What Does Your Christmas Look Like?

What does your Christmas look like?

I’ve discovered a color by number app on my electronic tablet and I blush to admit I’m hooked. I’m having so much fun celebrating Christmas by finding and coloring the holiday pictures. But as I browse through the pictures, trying to choose my next project. I’ve noticed something. Not one picture is about the birth of Jesus or has the religious symbols we associate with the celebration of Christmas. The site contains several Hanukkah pictures with a Menorah, but no nativities, angels, or churches.

My Color By Number Holiday Scenes

  • Snow scenes
  • Winter sports
  • Christmas goodies
  • Presents
  • Decorative red, green, and yellow mandalas
  • Santa Claus
  • Happy families
  • More snow pictures

Christmas conjures up images of buying, giving and receiving presents, getting together with family, indoor and outdoor decorations, baking cookies, sending letters to Santa, catching crystalline snowflakes on the tips of our gloved fingertips, and listening to once-a-year songs. It makes us all feel merry and bright and transported to a serene, magical world.

If an outsider observed our joyous celebration, wouldn’t it be understandable if that person asked, “What are you celebrating?” And if someone didn’t include the birth of Jesus in their celebration, what would be their answer?

Why are we doing this?

Now, my coloring app’s exclusion of pictures about the birth of Jesus does not surprise me. That’s the way our post-Christian society looks at Christmas. Santa replaced Jesus years ago. I particularly notice the lack of religious emphasis from the Christmas songs secular radio stations choose to play. Oh, occasionally, you’ll hear Josh Groban or Carrie Underwood singing “Oh Holy Night,” but a vast majority of the songs have nothing to do with any religious significance. For whatever reason, the backdrop of Christmas has slipped to the side.

What does Christmas represent as a holiday without the mention of Jesus’ birth? Some people want to change “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays” but what am I supposed to be happy about? And if those things are taken from me, can I still be happy?

Christmas just won’t be Christmas without . . .

If Christmas is nothing more than these outer trapping, what would it be those things were left out of our celebration? What would your reaction be if you couldn’t have those trimmings and traditions you consider an essential part of your Christmas celebration?Would Christmas no longer be the same? If we can’t have certain parts of Christmas, shall we just cancel Christmas?

Is Christmas no longer Christmas if:

  • Your family moves during the month of December and you can’t put up your usual amount of decorations?
  • A family member on hospice passes away the last week of December?
  • Your family hits a financial crisis, and you can’t afford to give each other gifts?
  • You’ve just been diagnosed with diabetes and the doctor warns about all those dreaded carbohydrates in Christmas cookies?
  • You live in a climate that sees one fleck of snow every six years and your neighbors would laugh if you turned on your gas fireplace instead of the grill for a barbecue? Dear me, the people in Aussie land can’t possibly have a decent Christmas without one Frosty the Snowman—right?
  • A national pandemic sweeps across the country, keeping families from gathering together? Whoops, now I’m getting personal!

What part of Christmas makes it Christmas for you? If you can’t have snow, wreaths, Christmas cookies, family dinners or some other aspect of Christmas that you cherish, would you still be able to celebrate Christmas? Will it still be a holly jolly Christmas?

I know how I would answer that as a Christian, but I wonder how those who don’t hold tightly to the Christian faith would respond.

What are YOU celebrating this Christmas?

Surely a holiday has to be more than pretty lights, gingerbread houses, a pretend friend who gives gifts, and cute snowmen.To me, a focus on only the outer trappings of Christmas sounds so empty. Depressing.

But if you use all those traditional props to celebrate the greatest event of all history, then it becomes special.

There’s a reason and a motive to pull out all the stops and fill the season with joy, joy, and more joy. And if the life stuff happens so you can’t do what you’ve always done, you’ll find other ways to celebrate. The joy and excitement you have over what God did that silent starry night will compel you to find any possible way to honor the God who would do such a marvelous thing.

If those things you’ve always done are limited or prohibited, you’ll still celebrate.

Because celebration is a form of worship.

So be careful. If you’re feeling blue this year because you can’t decorate as much, eat what you want, be with family, or attend the parties, music programs, or even, gasp, Christmas eve services, evaluate your focus: are you celebrating the trappings themselves or the One they are meant to honor?

If you don’t see Christmas as a day to honor the Christ who came to this earth as a baby, I want to challenge you: what are you celebrating? Do you still have something to celebrate if you can’t do what you’ve always done? And if the restrictions are making the holiday seem empty and meaningless, I invite you to fill the void with the beautiful story the beautiful story the Bible says angelic beings announced to some isolated shepherds one night long ago.

And if you are a Christ follower, don’t get despondent when the season doesn’t live up to your expectations. Dig in your heels and determine to find other ways to celebrate Christmas. Because the birth of Jesus is worth whatever kind of celebration you can manage.

Merry Christmas!

Filed Under: Grace on Parade

December 9, 2020 by Karen Wingate 2 Comments

Focus: Choosing to See What God Wants You to See

Focus: "I want to be wise in what I choose to allow my eyes to see." - Laura Loveberry

It’s so easy to take eyesight for granted. We open our eyes in the morning and images appear before us. It’s as regular as the sunrise. That’s why the above meme quote caught my attention. Those visual images aren’t forced on me. Eyesight is a choice. I choose where to focus my eyes.

Confession time!

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Grace on Parade, What I Saw Today

November 27, 2020 by Karen Wingate Leave a Comment

Lite Wheat Dinner Rolls: A Holiday Dinner Must Have

Lite Wheat Dinner Rolls
Dinner rolls – the perfect side for your holiday dinner

Whenever I ask my family what they want for a holiday dinner, my lite wheat dinner rolls are often near the top of the list.

I guess I have a reputation for making homemade bread. I’ve been making these lite wheat dinner rolls for my family, friends, and church events ever since I was in the 4-H breads project. Somewhere in midlife, I settled on an adaptation of a recipe from a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.

Tips for making the best Lite Wheat Dinner Rolls

This recipe is based on what we call the rapid-rise method. You mix your yeast with two cups of flour and then have your liquid at a higher temperature. This speeds the rising time, but really not by much. And it’s a bit of an adjustment to remember to have your liquid hotter than you would for the regular method of making bread. However, be careful that you don’t get your milk too hot; otherwise, you’ll kill the yeast. Not good.  

On the rise - rising lite wheat dinner rolls
On the rise – rising wheat rolls

If you plan to make bread very often at all, it is worth the small investment to buy a good meat/bread thermometer. Here’s the model of the Taylor TruTemp Thermometer that I use (No, I’m not an affiliate of Amazon so I don’t get a kickback from my recommendation. But I do love the compact, easy to store, and easy to read features of this particular model. It’s a little pricier than other food thermometers, but I believe it’s well worth the price. Tell Santa if he gets it for you for Christmas, you’ll make him some cinnamon rolls instead of cookies!)

Other tips:

Butter gives a better flavor and a tender crumb. But vegetable oil works just as well in this recipe.

One final thought. If you need only a small number of rolls, divide the dough in half. Make 12 dinner rolls and then use the rest to make some cinnamon rolls. You can even cook the cinnamon rolls and then freeze them for Christmas morning.  Isn’t that a sweet deal?

Here’s my recipe:

Lite Wheat Dinner Rolls

Ingredients

  • About 3 ½ cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 package active dry yeast
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • 1/3 cup butter, softened
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 eggs

Instructions

Combine 2 cups of the all-purpose flour, yeast, salt, and sugar in large mixing bowl. Microwave the milk at power 5 for about 1 minute or until milk temperature is between 120-130 degrees. Stir milk before testing the temperature to get an accurate reading.

Pour milk over flour, beating as you add the milk. Beat well. If you are using a heavy-duty mixer, beat on the next to lowest speed for about 1 minute. Add the butter and the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the one cup wheat flour; beat well. Stir in remaining flour until dough forms a ball. If you have a bread hook attachment to your mixer, change beaters at this point.

Using your dough hook, knead the dough for about 3 minutes on low then turn out on a floured board for the final kneading. If you do not have a dough hook, turn out onto a floured board and knead for about 5-10 minutes or until dough is smooth and has an elastic feel to it. The dough should be slightly sticky.

Shape into a ball. Place ball into a greased bowl; turn once to grease the surface. Cover and let rise in a warm place till double, about one hour.

Grease well a 9×13 inch cake pan. Punch dough down. Divide into 24 pieces. Shape dough into rolls by squishing flat between your hands and then drawing the edges toward the middle, making sure there are no creases. Pinch the edges together at the bottom of the roll. Place the roll face down in the pan to grease the top, then turn over, arranging the rolls in six rows of four each. Cover and let rise in a warm place until nearly double, about 30 minutes.

Bake in a 375 degree oven for 15-17 minutes or until golden brown. Turn out on a wire rack. Lightly grease the tops with shortening or butter. Cover with a tea towel until ready to serve so they don’t dry out.

Filed Under: Recipes

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Invite Karen Wingate to share with your church group at your next Women’s Ministry event the incredible story of how God gave her better vision than ever before. Contact her at karen@graceonparade.com [Continue …]

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  • Words Words Words: How to Win with Your Word Choices
  • Celebrating Christmas: What Does Your Christmas Look Like?
  • Focus: Choosing to See What God Wants You to See
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"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him."
- 2 Corinthians 2:14

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