Another Way to Express Compassion

“What is it like?”

“Do to others what you would have them do to you,” the Bible says in Matthew 7:12.

So, one day, I did that. I did what I wish more people did to me, what I appreciate when others do it to me. I asked my husband, “What is it like?”

I’m glad to have people ask me what it is like to have limited vision. Visual acuity numbers don’t really communicate the extent of my visual loss. But when I describe what I can and can’t see and how it impacts what I do, those people have a much better success rate at anticipating my needs or allowing me to be independent.

One day, I got the smart idea to ask that same basic question of my husband who is losing his hearing. His answer surprised me. I’m glad to say I’m now much more understanding and compassionate because I asked.

I’d like to share with you an excerpt from the chapter, “Fuzzy Sounds” in my book, With Open Ears that tells about my journey toward understanding my husband’s hearing difficulty.

“Fuzzy Sounds” from With Open Ears

All of us want to be understood. We long for others to step into our space and share our singular struggles. Most prefer people ask rather than make assumptions. And the questions should go beyond “What’s it like?” Inquiries like, “What’s frustrating to you” or “How can I best relate with you?” or “What is not helpful?” show that someone is willing to share our lives, make course corrections on their end, and move into our space.

Try it. Listen to the stories of those who are:

• Sight or hearing-impaired
• Homebound for weeks with a broken ankle
• Emotionally bound by grief after a death or divorce
• Homeless
• From a minority ethnic heritage.
• Outsiders or newcomers at the same table with old timers
• Single parents
• Christian teenagers attending public schools
• Retired and living on a fixed income.

What’s it like? What’s frustrating? What’s the best kind of help?

The first step toward compassion is understanding. And the next step is humility—the willingness to admit that our own weakness is an inability to understand the struggles and grief others face.

The final step toward productive compassion is connecting with the One who has helped us—God, the Father of all compassion and comfort. He knows everything about you. He made your human form, so he knows how it operates and sees its capacity for brokenness. Jesus understands what you face because he took on humanness, lived a solitary life during which no one fully understood him, and suffered the worst excruciating pain. He’s been there; he gets it. And he is the only one who has the full power, authority, and willingness to do something about it.

I’ve experienced God lifting me out of my own pit. My newly acquired understanding empowers me to offer informed compassion to others who suffer and struggle. I may not show compassion perfectly. I may forget that my beloved is several decibels short of hearing my words, and I may struggle through my own set of weaknesses and bad days to be all that another human needs me to be. The least I can do is point to Jesus and say, “He can help. He loves you, and he’ll walk with you. With his strength, you can make it through.”

(Taken from With Open Ears: 60 Reflections on the Wonder of Sound from a Woman Born Blind, © 2025 by Karen Wingate. Used by permission of Kregel Publications. Further distribution is prohibited without permission from Kregel Publications.)

How about you?

Can you think of someone you can ask those “What is it like?” kind of questions? Find time this week to have a coffee chat so you can ask them about their life and how they cope. As you listen, pray that God will guide your words and tone so you can convey His brand of compassion.

More from With Open Ears

With Open Ears beckons you to stop, pause, and listen to what you hear; to discover the wonder and beauty of the sounds God has created. You’ll read about God’s higher purposes for His gifts of sound and hearing, that He uses it as a conduit to communicate and relate with us. In turn He invites us to makes sounds of our own to proclaim His ways through all the earth and to praise Him with word and song.

Join Karen in the celebration of sound by purchasing your copy here.