Grace on Parade

Spreading the fragrance of God's grace everywhere

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God’s Grace Through My Fear

How does fear put a halt to your life steps?

Finally. Life is settling down. I’m back on my feet from my ankle injury, sort of. We put our daughter on a plane for a work program in China for six weeks. I finished my last novel, wrote the book proposal, submitted it to my agent, and did some rewrites. I finished the current session of my women’s bible study and organized my ministry team for my responsibilities for our church’s Vacation Bible School. I finished my part of my new Web design and turned it over to my web designer. I wrote some query letters for a magazine, proposing some articles to write for next year’s theme list.

Now it’s time to start working on my next novel. I dragged my feet, wasting several days. I pretended it was not knowing what story to tackle first (I’ve got at least five ideas). The inner core truth was I was duking it out with the monster called Fear.

Fear? What’s there to be afraid of about a little ole’ novel? It’s not like I’ve never written one before.

fear
News of a compressed publishing industry deepened my fear. A large Christian bookstore chain has declared bankruptcy and a major Christian publisher has determined to no longer publish fiction. The odds of ever giving a fiction book published diminish by the day. I was discouraged. I even expressed my fear to other clients of my agent. Why bother wasting so much time writing when it may never go anywhere. No, it wasn’t discouragement. It was fear.

I spent a morning facing my fear. What was I afraid of?hall of fear

Fear of failure. Fear of diving into a deep end project and getting over my head. Fear of not finishing the race, of not being successful. Fear that God will disqualify me because I didn’t succeed. I might not do a good enough job, it won’t get published, then I will have wasted all that time that I could have been doing something more effective for the Kingdom of God. Fear that I might get to the end of my life and find out I wasn’t doing what God wanted me to be doing in the first place, that I let down the Lord I love.

By now you are probably rolling your eyes and shaking your head at my silliness. Or maybe you are slowly nodding your head because you’ve been there too.

Wait. There’s more.

I’m afraid of success. I’m afraid of the lonely hours writing, of having to say no to people who won’t understand my need to fully emerge myself in the writing of a novel. I’m afraid I won’t have the support system I need to do the research, market the book, plan the blog tours, bang my head on my desk because the words aren’t coming out like I want them to, or to help me edits, proofreading and honest critiques to make my best better.

I’m afraid I can’t do this by myself. I’m afraid I’m not good enough, skilled enough or strong enough.

Sheesh, some of you are saying, doesn’t this woman know that the Bible says 365 times, “Do not fear?”

Writing is a scary business. You have to walk so much of it alone, yet you have to build up a platform of people who think well enough of your ideas that they’re willing to sacrifice hard earned money to buy your words. I’m afraid people won’t like me or my thoughts that much. I’m afraid of being alone. I’m afraid that there may actually be those who don’t like my words and will react in unpleasant ways toward my thoughts.

Do you ever feel any of these emotions as you face something new? Something above your work grade? Deep down, do you wonder if your choice of activities is letting God down?

The next question I asked myself that morning was this: How would God answer my fear other than those 365 admonitions to not fear?

So many times in Scripture, God will give a command then give the reason why. His greatest reason for no fear is found in Isaiah 41:10:

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

How can this knowledge about God dispel my fear?

God works in the process. My successes come during the journey, not at the end. God calls me to be faithful, not successful. He is with me through the journey. My task is to trust Him and be obedient to Him in whatever I choose to do. As my agent reminded our group, we never know who we might help, minister to, or reach out to in the process of writing that book. If we bring even one person to Christ, or encourage one person to move forward in the Kingdom of God, it’s worth it. We may never how our words or deeds impact others. Impact of our efforts is God’s business. We just need to be faithful.

Colossians 3:17 says,

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (NIV)

God wants our partnership. Of course, writing a novel is bigger than I can handle. Most if not all callings from God are too big for us. That’s what makes them God-sized projects. Frankly, as I invitationponder my feelings of inadequacy, I am exactly where God wants me to be. He wants me to realize that I can’t do this on my own, that I need His help. And He’s so creative! His help will come in many different forms, through many ways and many people. Part of starting a new project is the delight and excited anticipation of saying, “Okay God, how are You going to show Yourself in this one?” This is the moment that I send a personal invitation to my Lord, asking Him for the privilege of His presence.

Don’t be dismayed. He is your God. That means He is more than capable of handling anything He has asked you to do.

God is in charge of the program. Every life leaves unfinished business. God will not flunk me from heaven if I don’t get all my writing projects done! He won’t even give me a failing grade for taking on more than I can finish. Our faith is about faith—belief in Jesus Christ—not in our accomplishments. It’s not how many books I can get written, how many baby caps I can make for St. Jude’s Hospital, or how many Sunday School lessons I can teach.

Life is about who I am while I do what I do.

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Life is in the being, not the doing. It is about who I am while I do what I do. Life is in the “whatever” of Colossian 3:17. Whatever I do is to be to His glory and done in a spirit of thankfulness to Jesus Christ my Savior. As I strive to serve Him, He will give me the strength and wisdom I need. He will uphold me in my efforts with His righteous right hand.dance

As I sway to the music of my next novel, God asks of me, “May I have this dance for the rest of your life?” I want to lay aside my mantel of fear, place my hand on His shoulder, smile into His face and say a confident, “Yes.” I leave it to Him to teach me the steps from that point.

Oh, back to my next novel. What’s the book about anyway, you ask.

dance floorGet ready to laugh.

It’s about fear. It’s about a young woman facing her greatest fear. Sounds like the one God is going to move along the most from this book is—ME.

“May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” – Psalm 19:14 (NLT)

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Names: Choosing My Character Names

As I start research on my next two novels, my days have been filled with looking at lists of names. Names and names and more names. I’m looking for possible character names. This is what I call fun.

namesWhen I choose character names for a historical novel, I need to know actual historical figures in my time era.  I need to find out what names were popular at that time and what surnames were common in that area.  When I wrote my novel set in 1937 Ohio, my adult daughters and I trounced through several graveyards, finding tombstones of people about the age of my characters.  The girls would call out names and dates as I furiously wrote down the names trying to keep up with their exuberance.  People must have thought we were crazy.

Right now, I’m working on a contemporary novel set in Southern Arizona.  My book wouldn’t be an accurate portrayal of Arizona if I didn’t have a few character names of Hispanic heritage. Since I live 1500 miles from Arizona right now and am fresh out of airplane tickets (as much as I want to go visit my family), visiting cemeteries is not a current option.  So I snooped around the Internet.  A quick Google search gave me a list of the most common Hispanic proper names and surnames.  You can probably guess the most common Hispanic name – Garcia. That’s followed by Rodriguez, Martinez, and Lopez.  Well, I don’t want to choose an uber-common name but I want a name that fits my character but still easy for my audience to pronounce.  So far, I’ve chosen Lujan and Gutierrez.

Now for first names.  Well my Gutierrez character is a music professor so we’ll just call him Dr. Gutierrez.  But my supporting female character needs a name.  Did you know the most popular Hispanic name in 2012 was Sophia.  That’s followed by Isabella and Valentina.  Oh, I like Isabella but . . .further down the list is Mia, Ariana, Luna, and Zoe.  All good names.  Which one am I going to pick?  I think I’ll use — no, I’m not going to tell you.  Let it be a surprise.  Besides, I might change my mind.baby names

You want to know the most popular Hispanic names for boys in 2012?  One article I read said that boy’s names tend to be more traditional.  So the number one name is Santiago, followed by Matias and Sebastian. That surprises me.  I figured Juan and Jose’ would be up there but Juan is #52 and Jose’ is #74.
The other list of names I’ve been pouring over is a little more complicated – and sobering.  When writing historical fiction, it’s a challenge to know whether to use real names and build a story around the person or just make up a fictional name and use the details to make a composite. Regardless, sifting through names stokes my creativity.  Often, I create a composite name or invent a name that is similar in heritage.

The story I’m writing has to do with a militia group in the Eighteenth Century.  This particular militia group was responsible for murdering almost one hundred Indians.  Incredibly, we have a list of the Indians who were killed, but the list of militiamen is more vague. In fact, an incomplete list was not even formulated until one hundred years after the massacre.  It seems that the men did not want to be known for what they had done.  This list of names was gathered mostly from those who lived in the area at the time because most men were required to serve in the militia. It is safe to assume that if they lived in the area, they were in this group of militiamen.

As my eyes worked through this long list of names, I observed that every once in awhile, a personal note appeared about a particular name.  One man resisted the decision to attack the Indians.  Later this same man became a Presbyterian minister.  Another resister later adapted an Indian boy to protect him from future harm.

Some years back, Bruce Wilkinson wrote a little book, “The Prayer of Jabez” that instantly became a best seller.  Like my list of militia men, 1 Chronicles 4 contains a long boring list of names. Then our eyes stop at verse 10 as the author adds a biographical note about the man Jabez.  Who do we remember out of that long list of names?  Jabez.  Not just because Bruce Wilkinson wrote a book about him.  We remember his name because of what he did.

That’s true of any historical figure. We don’t remember the name in and of itself. We attach their names to what they did and to who they were.  George Washington, the Father of our country.  Abraham Lincoln, the Great Emancipator.  Jack the Ripper – need I say any more?

Do you want your family, friends or even generations after you to remember your name?  What kind of tag would you like placed after your name? Do you hope people will forget your name because you don’t want them to remember the associations with your name? Do you feel your life isn’t significant enough for anyone to remember you? I have news for you.  God will never forget your name. He doesn’t need an earth shattering historical event to remember you.  If you have trusted Him and followed Him, His tagline for you will be “good and faithful servant.”

How would you like people to remember you?  What tag would you like attached to your name?

Hopefully, when I finish my books, my character’s names will become so memorable to y ou, you won’t easily forget them.  My job is to make my characters so real by what they do and how they live that you won’t soon forget them.

If you had to choose a character name for a contemporary novel, what would you choose?

A to Z blog hop at Patterings.It’s Friday!  See what other blog writers think about when they hear the letter “N.”

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"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him."
- 2 Corinthians 2:14